I'm Not Crazy, Just A Little Unwell

Sun, 20 Oct 2013 01:57:08 GMT

Dad: you know fifty shades of gray?

Me:*laughing* you're reading fifty shades? It's mostly porn...

Dad: kinky porn at that...I only have the first one on my kindle

Me:do you need the other two? *giggling*

Dad: No, they were on my computer. it doesn't take long to read 50 shades if you skip the porn

me: *laughing* you know they are making a movie right but they can't cast Christian

dad: I don't know how they will make a movie without being xxx, it's b.s. No one has that much stamina...

comments

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 06:14:33 GMT

I am too tired to move, too awake to go to sleep. Too Emotionally spent to really think too much. To quote 'Love Story's' opening line. "What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant?" That you don't realizes what's gone until it's missing? That a flood of tears won't fix it but you can't stop them? I have to say it was a beautiful service, Would have been much better had it never happened. I guess I am done just wanted to get this out, That it seems scary when you have to face your own mortality when someone seemingly healthy 3 years younger then you is gone. I think this is enough just wanted to say something. I'll close with ILY CBB forever in my thoughts

comments

To all my friends!

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 20:21:15 GMT

comments

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 20:16:47 GMT

Well so little and so much as changed since I've last updated.

Time here as expanded. Things are ever changing.

Things that stress me out still not sure they belong here but I'm this close to putting them here anyway maybe next week with a friend lock.

comments

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 05:18:44 GMT

I hate that i hated you. And worse I hate that you can still make me hate you and yet we've never met.... I know you will never see this nor will any one ever tell you it happened. But I know it's out there and I have to recover from this and most of all I hate how it ended. And what it said about me. After this many years it's still there even when i was sure i was over it.

comments

poke Poke

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 18:14:03 GMT

I neglect these things to long. Likely why it's okay to let my personal paid time go. I find my self at sea a bit lately. Everything that was may or may not be the same ever again.

I suppose Change has been ever coming but it was slammed and in my face last September not sure I'm recovered from that one yet. Maybe that's good or bad I'm still unsure on this as well. Finding I'm not sure on a lot of things lately. just that it's all in the air and not sure how to fix anything. Or that it should be.

There is some change i'm looking forward to. My hair it's down to my waist and while I at first though i would miss it once it's gone I don't think I will it will be like cutting of some of the bad of late. It's been here for it. If I want long hair again I hope to start with happy hair. I also know that Locks Of Love will like it more then I do. I'm thinking when I cut it crazy color too. Yes I'm 28 Y/o but I think that this time it will be an allowable thing. Just change and to break free.

Sadly the two things that keep me upset and stressed right now i'm not sure this is the right place to put it. I will say it's two sick family members because that's a given if you know me. But I just I think we'll leave it for that

Looking at these words I wonder if it's even worth clicking post but I suppose it will be. It's my journal to ramble in.

On a side note I've started writing ficlets good or bad there ya go. people seem to like them so i will keep writing them,.

comments

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 19:24:50 GMT

Hello all my friends just wanted to say that I am babyduckie484 on DW and your all free to add me i wish that you do!

comments

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:17:22 GMT

( Current mood is :( )

comments

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:13:49 GMT

Okay no longer gloomy today. Today I'm seeing Red.

The Kid (Crys or Crystal as she might be referred to as.) Was sleeping in her mom's chair and she had the door open with the heater on it was 40ºF (4.4444ºC). I tried to ask what she was doing, and rambled on about excuses and what not. I finally had to say I am the adult. (I'm 27 she's 33 but suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome my aunt is her step-mom I only classify this so that you all know my aunt didn't drink.) And said no toys until your mom gets home. If you can't be bothered to get up and shut the door you can't be bothered for toys.

I go in to make her brunch, then hear the sound of kids electronics and yeap she's got a toy. I see red it's all i can do not to yell or scream, I walked away from it. Needless to say. I've done all the dishes and even cleaned to stove to work out the anger...

More stories form adventures in nannying to come!

comments

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 18:42:56 GMT

Hello LJ I'm sorry I've neglected you.

A lot has happened since I've talked to you. (I Feel a little like Ginny Weasley here.) Loss and sadness , grief and anger. Fear and doubts. It's all still very real and very upfront. I don't know what I'm doing but I was drawn to write today. I don't think it will come out to be much more then rambles of the fingers.

In the past 7 months I feel I can safely my worlds been on a spinning top. It's like one wrong move and it tumbles over. Maybe more Weebles like they wobble but they don't fall down. I can tell you it's felt like it's fallen.

Learned in April my uncle had cancer and sadly he died on September third. It ws an up and down roller coaster before then and just so much there are no words really for it.

The rest of the time was spent helping family, and what not those that talk to me know about them and I don't think i need to go in to details really about that. unless asked and i'll email them to you.

Found out my aunt has cancer and honestly as dire as taht is the other news around it has been good but i'm living with this fear what if it's not. my uncle was supposed to be okay too. And he's not and I don't see me okay It's got to be okay but I can't shake these blahs it's like a good cry would hepl but all that will do is give me a headache and i have to watch the Kid. I just want I don't know but it feels just out of reach as if i can get my finger tips on it but can't really grasp it.

I guess that's enough rambling for now. I'm putting in my earbuds and going to knit see if this feeling goes away.

comments

Fri, 12 Nov 2010 18:09:30 GMT

Socks: not only will the little bastards not fold themselves and sometimes a perfectly married couple divorce Never to see the jilted partner again they also will not jump in the giant Hot tub.

comments

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 00:33:20 GMT

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v12/squeaky484/House/ Picks of the house if any one wants to see. There will be more uploaded as i take them, This way its a choice if you see them I do not have pics of the gash on my leg in there as not to disturb peeps

comments

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 05:55:52 GMT

FML

comments

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 07:24:39 GMT

Somedays really are just like my happybunny, Really really they are. And it's not easy to handle or to take care of but we do it. And other times you get stuck in a mindless loop and there isn't really a way out.I posted to LJ and it has a HB icon

The best way out is the way you can't use because you can't tell anyone about it. swirl loops stuck, and sometimes now matter how good you are at wiggling your way out you can't do it,

I likley have less then 13 hours to figure out how to wiggle worm or something before people i love get hurt, The pickle is no way out with out someone getting hurt. I will call party A and convince them they need to go to a party with PArty b with me. That might work or he'll tell me Bug off. that could happen to.

I rest assured most any one that this post is about won't read it and yet i speak in code? Really that's kinda paranoid Licia.

More paranoia then I use when I am lurking around of other thngs i guess i wait see and sleep. Sleep is good. every one loves sleep.

comments

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 07:23:00 GMT

Somedays really are just like my happybunny, Really really they are. And it's not easy to handle or to take care of but we do it. And other times you get stuck in a mindless loop and there isn't really a way out.

The best way out is the way you can't use because you can't tell anyone about it. swirl loops stuck, and sometimes now matter how good you are at wiggling your way out you can't do it,

I likley have less then 13 hours to figure out how to wiggle worm or something before people i love get hurt, The pickle is no way out with out someone getting hurt. I will call party A and convince them they need to go to a party with PArty b with me. That might work or he'll tell me Bug off. that could happen to.

I rest assured most any one that this post is about won't read it and yet i speak in code? Really that's kinda paranoid Licia.

More paranoia then I use when I am lurking around of other thngs i guess i wait see and sleep. Sleep is good. every one loves sleep.

comments

I'm Not Crazy, Just A Little Unwell

To all my friends!

*poke Poke*

poke Poke